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- The meme. [[labelnote:Explanation]]The explanation behind the meme, if necessary.[[/labelnote]] Explanation Like this.
- Further mutations and successor memes, if any.
Fate series (except Fate/Grand Order)
- Most, but not all, of the following memes are listed on the Type-Moon page on Know Your Meme, and several have individual pages to themselves.
- "People dieif they are killed." Explanation From a fansub's◊"Blind Idiot" Translation taken out of context.
- Up until that point in the Fate route, Shirou had survived at least half a dozen near death experiences (including being disemboweled, stabbed through the heart, and cut clean through from shoulder to hip) through a magical Healing Factor. However, Shirou then gives up that power so Saber can use it to stand a chance against Gilgamesh. Thus, Shirou is just restating he's fine giving the power up, as he's already more than grateful for surviving more near death experiences than a person would normally ever expect to. People still make fun of Shirou and the "Blind Idiot" Translation though.
- Shiki Tohno: "Don't be ridiculous! Dead people can't be alive!"
- Nanakonote from the Tsukihime quasi-sequel Kagetsu Tohya: "Eh—Th-th-that's ridiculous! First of all, that person doesn't even die when killed!"
- Rin Tohsaka: "She wouldn't die even if you kill her."
- Playable Caster: "All right! Now that this is all settled, we WILL survive until the end, even if it kills me!"
- Kamina: "A real man never dies, even when he's killed!"
- Renji Abarai: "Even if we kill you, you probably wouldn't die."
- L: "The thing you have to do, is die before getting killed."(Ironically this phase actually makes much more sense given the premises of Death Note)
- Asuna Kagurazaka: "I've been always worried about when he would get injured, of if he would get killed... But now he won't die even if "he" is killed."
- Nice: "I'll kill you if you die again!"
- Tadakuni's sister: "Shut up! If you don't die right now, I'll kill you! If you don't wanna get killed, then die!"
- Hibiki Tachibana: "Then I'll come back alive, even if it kills me!"
- Maki Harukawa: "He's stupid enough to get himself killed, but I know he won't really die
- Case in Point.
- "Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right." Explanation More oddly-translated wisdom from Shirou, this time from the official sub of the Unlimited Blade Works anime. In context, he meant something along the lines of "just because you've got your facts correct doesn't mean your conclusions are right".
- "The Archer class really is made up of Archers!" Explanation Another "lost in translation" moment, courtesy of Rin this time. It's a peculiarity of the Japanese language that using pronouns can be very casual and/or rude whereas using a person's name even when directly speaking to them is common. She calls Archer by his "name," but what she's saying is, "You really are an Archer!"
- This evolved into a sarcastic meme in Fate/Grand Order regarding the Archer class which has only few actual archers. The sarcasm gets further upon the inclusion of Kara no Kyoukai's Asagami Fujino as an Archer-class Servant, yet she doesn't have anything in her to be an Archer (as she doesn't have a bow or any ranged weapons but has her telekinetic ability as her main method of attack instead), and some believes she fits more as Caster or Avenger instead.
- "When you have a birthday, you celebrate being born."Explanation Even Shirou's counterpart in the Prisma Illya universe is not immune to making these statements, though he's explaining this to Miyu, who never celebrated her birthday.
- GAY BULGE! Explanation The first anime's dub mispronounced "Gae Bolg", the name of Lancer's Noble Phantasm. Naturally, the Internet had a field day with this.
- "Alright, Shirou! Please put your... that! Y... Your pOnOs! To my... my... Here! .....My vagOOO!!! And J.. J... JAM IT IN!" Explanation A series of Fate/stay night parody comics makes it a Running Gag that Shirou frequently suffers Entendre Failure when faced with sexual innuendo, and one doujinshi in particular portrays him as ignorant of even basic understanding of the mechanics of sex, requiring this line from Saber. The O's in the words "penis" and "vagina" are supposed to be circles representing blank-space censorship.
- "...you lost me." Explanation A fancomic by Hiroyuki, created as a parody/response to the above, has Shirou say this line in response to Rin and Saber trying to teach him how to perform the act.1. Put pOnOs (A) to vagOOO (B).
2. JAM IT IN!
- "...you lost me." Explanation A fancomic by Hiroyuki, created as a parody/response to the above, has Shirou say this line in response to Rin and Saber trying to teach him how to perform the act.
- Recharge your mana.Explanation Mana is recharged through sex in Fate/stay night.
- LOL dragons. / LOL dolphins. / LOL sperm fish.Explanation Remember that Fate/stay night origins comes from an eroge of the same name and the anime adaptions of its storylines happen to have Bleached Underpants. This is how, during two obvious sex scenes... before anything risque shows up, you are treated to a show of a CGI dragon (in the Fate route anime), CGI dolphins (in the Unlimited Blade Works movie), or CGI fish that resemble sperm (Unlimited Blade Works anime) instead of the scene.
- Mana Transfer Dragon, the one used for Saber's scene in the anime, now has its own tag on Danbooru and similar sites.
- I am gar for Archer. Explanation Someone misspelled "I am gay for Archer." and the misspelling stuck.
- Mapo tofu. Explanation A scene in Heaven's Feel when Kirei is caught eating the mapo tofu dish as if it was his ultimate life goal and somehow still manages to put Shirou on full guard. Even better with voice acting as Joji Nakata goes all the way with panting and "chomp chomp" sounds. This scene is then taken Up to 11 in the first Heaven's Feel Movie. It's also referenced in Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA☆ILLYA Drei!!! as he runs an ultra expensive Mapo tofu shop.
- Kirei's rip off store.Explanation Anytime Kirei is selling anything, he will charge ridicious prices for it, infamously the Mapo Tofu he sees in Prisma Illyaand the school uniform you need to get the true ending in Fate/EXTRA CCC.
- Unlimited ______ Works. Just fill in the blank with a noun and you can bring up wonders: Unlimited Häagen-Dazs Works, Unlimited Musket Works, Unlimited Every Military Weapon Works, and of course, Unlimited Blade Works. Bonus points if you created a special chant to go along with it.
- The anime is Unlimited Budget Works.
- Fill-in-the-blank Archer version:Expand
I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to Death, nor known to Life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet, those hands will never hold anything.
So, as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works.
- Fill-in-the-blank Shirou version:Expand
I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unaware of loss, nor aware of gain.
Withstood pain to create weapons, waiting for one's arrival.
I have no regrets. This is my only path.
My whole life was Unlimited Blade Works.
- Unlimited Essay Works.◊Explanation An anon claimed that he turned in a page for his final paper of a writing class he was flunking using an altered UBW chant.
- Did you mean "Bane"?
- Fall/Semester Mike.
- "I ask of you: Are you my Master?" Explanation This is mainly the first line EVERY servant states when they are summoned in ALL Fate series. Most notable during Saber's summoning in Fate/stay night and Fate/Zero.
- "This is a war which mucks around with women and children!" Explanation In the Fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War, there are six children Masters and three female Servants; it is severely invoked by Gilgamesh.
- Erotical Black Hole. Explanation Popular nickname for Sakura in Heaven's Feel due to her seemingly endless sexual appetite combined with the Great Grail's resemblance to a black hole.
- Being Lancer is suffering. Explanation The Lancer class has "E-Rank"Luck Stat, and this presents itself story-wise as them being horribly shafted. Borrows from Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Surprisingly enough, more than half of the Servants that appear in the Nasuverse have the same rank in Luck, with only a few exceptions like Arturia Pendragon or Alexander the Great.
- By the end of Fate/Zero, it's become "Being everyone in Fate/zero is suffering." Because there's not a good end for ANYONE.Except Gilgamesh. (Unsurprisingly, both Fate/zero and Puella Magi Madoka Magica have the same writer, Gen Urobuchi).
- Being Lancer is wonderful. Explanation As of Fate/Apocrypha's release, this has taken a complete 180, since both of its Lancers, Vlad the Impaler and Karna, are respectively the strongest member of Black Team and one of the single most overpowered characters in the entire franchise, theorized to be able to take on GILGAMESH. Lancer of Black ends up like every other lancer, though.
- DR. GILGAMESH. Explanation Gilgamesh's infamous "heart surgery" scene in UBW triggered a lot of "heart"-related jokes.
- KING OF HEROES, DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH SWORDS?Explanation A paraphrased/liberally translated version of Shirou's line in the Unlimited Blade Works route when facing off against Gilgamesh.
- Mongrels! Those swords are fucking patented! Explanation A flanderization of Gilgamesh's interaction with Shirou and Archer. Brought up in the Character Development Cliff Notes style of the Unlimited Blade Works route.
- Ha! Know your place, mongrel!Explanation Gilgamesh has a habit of referring to everyone else as "zasshu", which is usually translated as "mongrel" in English.
- Rejoice, Emiya Shirou◊/Yorokobe, shounen! Explanation Kirei Kotomine's line towards Shirou at the start of Fate/stay night has turned into a memetic Catch-Phrase for the priest.
- Kirei's jogging in Fate/Zero's eighth episode has reached a memetic status among the fandom.
- WAGA ARU G.Explanation Lancer consistently refers to Kayneth with "waga aruji", or "milord".
- Team NTR. Explanation A Fan Nickname for team Kayneth, referring to how Sola-ui falls in love with Lancer. Said Lancer being Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, who's entire legend is also NTR, shouldn't have come as a surprise.
- KFCa.k.a.Kayneth's Fried Circuits. Explanation Kayneth was hit by a bullet of Kiritsugu's Mystic Code, shorting his Magic Circuits and - if he uses too much magic - raising the possibility of blowing out his body with overloaded prana. Too bad he had been doing exactly that.
- MOU IKKAI!Explanation A cute little endlessly repeating animation featuring the song Sakuranbo, with the lyrics "mou ikkai"/"one more time".
- Yuetsu!! Explanation The Japanese word for "pleasure", alternatively translated as "joy" or "entertainment"; one of the plotlines involves Gilgamesh making Kirei realize what exactly the source of these things is for him. It's probably a result of the frequent use and the Ho Yay that comes with it that made it into a memetic word among the fandom.
- Ancient Hindu Spaceships! Explanation Mutated form of the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series Ancient Egyptian Laser Beams meme when referring to Gilgamesh's flying ship in Fate/Zero. Yes, it's at least grounded in true myth in the Ramayana.
- Happy Mother/Father/Children's Day, Kiritsugu!Explanation Fate/Zero had episodes that aired on Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Japan's Children's Day. In said episodes, Kiritsugu is forced to kill his adoptive mother, (Grail-created versions of) his family, and his childhood friend, respectively.
- UNLIMITED BUDGET WORKSExplanation With Ufotable adapting the full-length UBW anime and piggybacking off of the immense financial success of Fate/Zero, the animation in UBW was set to be very, very well funded.
- HEAVEN'S FUND or alternately, HEAVEN'S BUDGETExplanation With Ufotable also adapting the Heaven's Feel movie trilogy and taking into account the studio's reputation for high quality animation plus the budget they've earned from the UBW anime itself, people have been dead set on calling the adaptation of the third route this. Now that the first movie's out, fans everywhere all agree that Ufotable outdid themselves with the animation this time, with them even going so far as to say that it managed to surpass UBW's animation in quality.
- Historical AccuracyExplanation Due to the very system of the Grail calling upon copies of the heroes of all times to fight, many have some characteristics distinct to their mythical or historical depiction. Though plausible with some characters of the original VN, other entries in the franchise took it to its logical conclusion.
- (Insert violent sequence here): (IT'S) MORE FUN◊IN THE PHILIPPINES!◊Explanation It's a reference to both one of the Philippines' old tourism slogans, and the revelation that Alimango Island, where Kiritsugu's Start of Darkness took place, is an actual location from that country. Needless to say, a number of Filipinos couldn't resist.
- HIGH BARExplanation Rin and Sakura first fall in love with Shirou by watching him try to vault over a bar from the wrong side, not giving up despite trying and failing for hours. It's thus become common to have girls fall madly in love with him in crossovers or any other form of fiction just by jumping over a bar. It has been done before, though.
- DON'T THINK!IMAGINE!◊Explanation Illya sums up how magical girl powers work. Often used by fans as a Hand Wave concerning any breaks in logic.
- IMASINE!◊Explanation The original airing of the episode misspelled "Imagine". The DVD release fixed this, but not before the Internet ran off with it.
- Tohsaka's anus.Explanation A...particularly memorable line from the H-scene in the Unlimited Blade Works route, seen here, along with a selection of other narmtastic Nasu quotes (NSFW). This line is one of the several usually trotted out to support "Nasu can't write sex" as seen above.
- TOHSAKA PLEASES OLD MEN FOR MONEY! Explanation Originating from a Doujinshi where Rin does just that, this phrase is posted in almost every Fate thread on /a/.
- 2017: The Year of Fate. Explanation With the announcement of the first Heaven's Feel movie, Part II of the Fate/Grand Order mobile game as well as it's US release, Fate/Extella: The Umbral Star, anime adaptations of Grand Order, Fate/EXTRA and Fate/Apocrypha, and an anime movie for Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA☆ILLYA all being released at different points in 2017, fans have proclaimed that 2017 is a great time to be a Fate fan.
- Mama Shirou. Explanation This line inevitably gets used in some form in any fanwork where Mordred ends up meeting her "father" Artoria and Shirou when the latter two are together. It really ups in hilarity when one remembers that Shirou pretty much is the "wife" in the relationship with his skills at cooking and housework.
- MamaMIYA. Explanation An extension of "Mama Shirou" to Shirou's future counterpart, Archer EMIYA. Frequently seen mothering all the Servants in Grand Order fanworks, including ones he normally hates.
- Queen Shirou. Explanation Taking the idea of Artoria and Shirou being together to its logical conclusion, since Artoria is the King of Britain, the other Knights of the Round Table often refer to Shirou as the new "queen".
- "Hey, that's Hell you are walking into." Explanation A phrase uttered by both Shirou and Archer while the former remembers that his wish to save others was his from the start in Episode 20 of Unlimited Blade Works. Normally used whenever someone discusses heroics or ideals (or Fate/Grand Order and its gatcha and grindiness).
- Sasaki Kojiro, Savior of FranceExplanation The fact that Sasaki is one of the two best cards for the French part of the game (said map is infested with Rider-class dragons, which Assassin-class Servants do extra damage against) has led to its reputation in the Fate/Grand Order fandom as the Savior of France.
1. Tell Me How I Love You
According to Achak’s father in What is The What, by Dave Eggers, man chose cattle over The What when God offered a choice between the two. But not all of us are satisfied with cattle. We keep wondering, “What is The What?”
Even if we found it, could we describe it? Surely I am not the one for the job. I’m terribly distracted. I open and close windows. I like video games. I let my toddler play in the flowering mint (bees). I’m not the one you want making definitive statements about the Ineffable. I don’t drink enough. I’m a liar, and I’m always sad. I’m selfish. I borrow other writers’ words. Dear Husband, I have a selfish way of saying, tell me how I love you.
2. But First—
My son is almost three. He and The What came from the same place, I think. His departure from there is still so recent he has yet to begin seeking what he lost. For now, he is working on this world’s language, logic, legitimacy. Music. Physics. Mischief.
We live on the edge of a continent. Our world teeters between land and sea, washed in whimsical coastal weather. Here, cusp is truth. Liminal is how things are, and the World is a story we make up. And tear down. And make up again.
Yet the World persists, however much in our minds. Adults describe, prescribe, proscribe, and conscribe the World. I’ve learned how a parent cannot help but function as a lens for a child’s eyes. It will be a gradual process to remove myself, and because I’m not perfect, I’ll leave relics. My child will have to unsee what I have lovingly, carefully, and of course, mistakenly, shown him.
And then, because this is what humans must do, he’ll gather the relics and remnants and truths and begin to build. Maybe he’ll build a video game. I hope he will become, at least, a good and thoughtful gamer, who can see and savor the blood sport and beauty of a well-made RPG.
3. Into the Narrow North
I played games as a child. I stopped in junior high and was twenty-seven years old when I started again. I bought a PlayStation 2 so I could watch movies on DVD. It was only by accident that I wandered into the games section at Blockbuster, where I found Final Fantasy X, with beautiful CG images on its packaging—a dancing girl with a mage’s staff, a boy with a water-sword standing in the ocean—and shortly thereafter, my childhood collapsed in a heap. I emerged an adult. I had played a video game and loved it and somehow, miraculously, it was my own experience—I didn’t have friends who gamed, I didn’t know if I was doing it “right.” Final Fantasy X was my long journey into a narrow north. I went to see what was there. I went alone. No one interpreted the experience for me. No one translated it into other words, put it into another context, or shared a similar experience. No one cared and no one even knew about it, not really.
To a large degree, I had been left to my own devices in my twenties. Not my family, not even my cohabitating boyfriend was really looking at me. I can see now how addictive that unasked-for privacy was, and what an entirely unrepentant junkie I still am. I crave physical privacy. Intellectual privacy. Creative privacy.
In Ashtanga yoga, the student is advised to practice saucha (cleanliness). I’m no expert, and my asana practice is on a long hold, but I understand this instruction to mean, in part, keeping one’s mind clear and clean, and not doing things or going out among those who are doing things that are unhealthy or do not support your practice. Yogis need saucha. Writers need saucha. Gamers need saucha. I pulled this off fairly well until parenthood began. (Dear Child, I am trying to be better.)
5. I Am the House
Parenthood. I’m humbled by the weight, stakes, and cost of my obligations. I’m not entirely sure I’ll come through the early years of raising a small human with any of my earlier qualities, interests, energies, relationships, or capacities. I may be better, or I may be worse. Some days tend toward the latter and I want to run away, far away, to a forest hut surrounded by wind chimes and tall grass. Or I yearn for eighty hours to immerse myself in a game. How could I want this? Am I really a mother who wants to be alone and write, a mother who could spend so much time so unproductively playing? These possibilities cause me physical pain. There is some consolation in present beauty: a funny toddler, my spring garden. Some solace in memory: the Ridorana Cataract in Final Fantasy XII. You arrive by airship and can head for the Pharos, a monster tower, or you can turn around and walk to the edge of the cliff where your ship’s golden anchor gleams. Look out to sea. The sky is cloudless and blue, a power sky, and the water is far, far below. The cliff is a threshold, a melancholy breeze wavers over it. I used to open a save file here and let the view and music play while I moved around my snowbound Michigan house. This is how I remember that very private Home: a place where I tried to amplify something I could not name, that feeling of ecstasy and grief, distance and intimacy. Snow. Writing. Games.
In Final Fantasy XII, sea-gazing is an extra-narrative moment. You have to turn around to find it. You have to stand still.
Home is different now. The other was a cloister. This one is decoherence, my world of daily obliteration and creation. Think of the New World seekers who dismantled their magnificent ships for the raw materials to build their houses. Once, I was the ship. Now, I am the house. I create the chaos protocol. Though sometimes I would rather blame him, or them, for the mess, for the wind, for the dusty video games on the shelf.
Where does permission come from? Am I still a gamer if I haven’t finished an RPG in three years? My meditation teacher shows me how all questions boil down to one question: What is this (gesturing to the body, the I)?
Alain de Botton says: To care deeply about a field that achieves so little, and yet consumes so many of our resources, forces us to admit to a disturbing, even degrading lack of aspiration. Here de Botton is writing about the reverence for beautiful buildings in The Architecture of Happiness. One could say architects get into architecture because they love beautiful buildings. I got into games because I love beautiful games, and I consider beauty a fine aspiration for a human life. What is the What?
7. I Open the Window
Gaming is like writing in that I must do it in order for it to work. I must be near the temple to hear its bell ring. CD Wright: I open the windowso that the glory cloud can come and go.
Gaming is different from writing in that playing the game is not the art. Art comes later, after I’ve paid attention to a game for a long time, long enough to understand it. To know it.
I open my windows so tenderness can ride in on the glory cloud.
8. Loose Parts
The “loose-parts theory” of twentieth-century British architect Simon Nicholson goes like this: “In any environment, both the degree of inventiveness and creativity, and the possibility of discovery, are directly proportional to the number and kind of variables in it.” I encountered these words in Last Child in the Woods, by Richard Louv. Louv mentions this theory in the context of playground design. I thought not of children. I immediately thought of video games.
The best kind of video game—long, deep, and open-ended—is a loose-parts toy. This might sound odd because gamers encounter a game as a finished product, pre-digested for us by Advertising. We’ve been told how to perceive the game, how to feel about it, what it will mean to us. A game is supposed to be finished being made by the time I sit down to play it, but to truly succeed in my eyes, a game will be entirely frangible: it will collide with me and shatter. I suspect that the best game makers already know that they are building ships of borrowed wood, and that after a ship sails it must eventually ground itself, break up, and be strewn against the shore in parts. The tide brings its fragments to me.
9. The Practice of Adjacency
Writing is a loose-parts game. We aim for the most harmonious (or potent) arrangement of objects, images, feelings, events, and characters. With this practice of energetic and physical adjacency, we might get lucky and resolve an incongruity—at least for ourselves.
In A Note on Incongruence, AR Ammons says there is often an incongruity between our feelings and how we express them. With a poem, we might achieve a “linguistic correction” of the incongruity. Because “an object can reflect and interpret feelings,” the poet sifts her loose parts for the right object or image to arrange in the poem. The right image feels like a revelation, a glory cloud. Possibly, The What.
To resolve, or at least tangle with, incongruity is the duty of every human. I’m not paramaniacal—life is full of troubles. Poems and stories don’t pay the rent, but if in the writing of them a writer finds relief, they should be written. Writing is not healing, but the pleasure given by the excellent use of language is some kind of medicine for me.
10. Simplifying Things Which Seem Impossible
St. Teresa of Avila didn’t play video games and she didn’t exactly choose to write. She had visions.
Her most famous vision was of an angel who stabbed her again and again and left her completely afire with a great love for God. Fire is transformation. Fire is final. But Teresa was still alive and felt ill: For three months I have been suffering from such noises and weakness in the head that I find it troublesome to write even about necessary business. Despite this, her superior nuns commanded Teresa to write things for the other nuns to read. The assignment frightened her.
Fortunately, Teresa believed in discipline: As I know that strength arising from obedience has a way of simplifying things which seem impossible, my will gladly resolves to attempt this task, although the prospect seems to cause my physical nature great distress. So, obedience gave her the strength to cope with her affliction, to endure the incongruity between her will and her body. I believe writing must have helped her in the end, too. Loose parts games are good for us. Making worlds, as she does in Interior Castle, is energizing, empowering. It can be physically restorative to make. I recall how strong I felt while practicing Ashtanga yoga for several years. I disciplined my body and my mind followed suit. I didn’t feel incongruous anymore. I felt calm. I had resolved one of my lifelong issues—my body—and the rest of life seemed fairly simple for a time.
In her poem “On the Vanishing of Large Creatures,” Susan Hutton writes: “In bed the body’s glorious grasp on its own anatomy / will move off with its pleasure, and the shapes of the bones, / the muscles, the tendons must all be relearned.” My glorious grasp has indeed moved off and I will not find it again.
There’s something about raising a very young child that feels like living in a house with all of the windows wide open all of the time. There are too many loose parts. I’ve gone a bit mad, Teresa.
We are not committed until we have dismantled our own escape routes. I cannot relearn the shape of something I have given away. I gave my anatomy, my ship, to my child.
This is Death terrain, says Sun Tzu in The Art of War, because there is no way out, but Sun Tzu was thinking about the battlefield. I’m sure he never turned his back on the enemy in order to gaze at the sea, exposed, dismantled, listening. He didn’t know about The What. He wasn’t afire with god. He did not know there would be Bösendorfer pianos and Mars rovers. He never played Final Fantasy XII.
Further Links and Resources:
- All photos accompanying this essay are used with the permission of Christine Hartzler. Follow her photoblog Our Hereafter.
- Read Christine Hartlzer’s essay “Games Are Not About Monsters,” which was published by FWR in 2009 and selected for Dzanc’s Best of the Web 2010.
- You can also check out Mike Rudin’s 2010 essay on how the next great American novel just might be a video game.
Christine Hartzler is the wife of a physicist and mother of a chaos engine nearing his third birthday. She has an MFA from the University of Michigan. The advent of parenthood put some of her ambitions on hold–she still hasn’t finished Final Fantasy XIII-2–but due to the miracle of occasional daycare, she continues to freelance for Oxford University Press, write essays and poems, blog her photographs, and garden every inch of her land in West Seattle. Her first essay for FWR, “Games Are Not About Monsters,” was selected for inclusion in Dzanc’s Best of the Web 2010 and has been most recently collected in Creative Composition, edited by Eileen Pollack, Jeremiah Chamberlin, and Natalie Bakopoulos.